This Saturday, 9/23, I’ll be on terrestrial radio as the celebrity co-host of a show in Tucson called “On The Menu…Live!” from 5p-6p. I’ll be talking about Arizona booze and food while desperately trying to avoid an FCC fine! Listen in to what could either be a really fun hour or the event that literally bankrupts me into oblivion if I can’t keep from discussing my genitals on the air.

For my younger readers: you know that thing in your car that you hook up your aux cord or Bluetooth to so you can listen to podcasts from your phone? Well that thing should also have a little knob that you can spin to hear music or other people’s voices jabbering about all kinds of horseshit. Turn one of those knobs to 104.1 FM KQTH, Tucson’s News and Talk on Saturday, 9/23 at 5pm to listen me drunkenly try to spew coherent sentences into an expensive microphone.

If you don’t have a radio or if you’re not in Tucson you can still hear me embarrass myself live by streaming the show on their website: OnTheMenuLive.com

How could anyone think I’d be a good fit for a public radio broadcast? I don’t know, I’m just as confused as you are!

There comes a time in a man’s life when he must decide just how fat he is willing to be. In this life you either die a John Belushi or you live long enough to see yourself become Jim Belushi. As a heavy drinker who hates being alive I’ve basically decided that working on myself isn’t worth it and it would be nice to just kinda die in my sleep one night whenever.

Or at least that’s what I felt until I was called out by a fellow fat man who had the balls to challenge me. There’s a fairly new podcast out there called Tap That AZ. Each episode highlights a brewery or major player in the AZ beer scene. I was even a guest on the show myself. The host, Eric Tapthat (or whatever) is a nice guy who’s looking to drop some weight. The two of us met up with Justin Cross to join his Brewtrition workout plan. It’s a fitness plan for beer drinkers created because Justin believes you can drink beer and be in great shape as long as you earn your booze.

As of today Eric Tapthat and I will be competing with each other to reach our respective weight loss goals by Wednesday, November 22nd, the day before Thanksgiving. Because we’re gonna celebrate our achievements by stuffing our fat faces full of turkey.

We’ll be posting updates of our progress throughout our social media pages and I’ll be adding write ups right here on my blog. Here are our stats so you know where we’re starting: 

The Classy Alcoholic
  
Age: 31

Height: 5’9” (5’10” on a good day)

Weight (w/clothes): 194lbs

Weight (naked and drunk): 189lbs

Waist line: 39.5inches

Neck line: 18inches

Advantages: Used to be skinny. Got laid a lot. Misses it.

Obstacles: Lost the will to live years ago
Eric Tapthat

 
Age: 38

Height: 6’3”

Weight: 290lbs

Waist line: 44

Chest: 52inches

Neck: 19inches

Advantages: Actually cares whether he lives or dies

Obstacles: Chicken
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter for updates throughout the next 10 weeks or so as The Classy Alcoholic does what he never thought he would do and engage in some minimal form of physical exercise. Watch as two fat guys slowly make minimal gains that sober people who eat veggies make pretty much every time they take a dump.