This is it. The fifth and final chapter of my kickass spy story, “A Cottonwood Kill.” It’s the heart-wrenching finale that literally no one was waiting for but here it is anyway. Click the Short Stories tab in the menu above or just click the “Continue Reading” button below.
The penultimate chapter of my epic adventure in AZ wine country is here! Part 4 of my story, “A Cottonwood Kill,” is where the tale takes a major twist. Read the latest entry by clicking the “Continue Reading” link below or click on the “Short Stories” tab on the menu above.
Part 2 of my epic, 5-part story is here. The Classy Alcoholic continues his dangerous spy mission and gets in deeper than he expected at Pillsbury Wine Company.
Read chapter 2 by clicking on the Short Stories tab in the menu above or by clicking the “Continue Reading” link below.
The Classy Alcoholic is officially back and better than ever! After taking a break to work out some shit I’ve decided to fully embrace my desire to write ridiculous short stories full of adventure and intrigue. And so I bring you a 5-part story called, “A Cottonwood Kill.” Join The Classy Alcoholic as he goes on a dangerous, undercover mission for the FBI in Cottonwood, AZ while exploring the town’s wine tasting rooms along the way.
You can read Part 1 by clicking on the brand new “Short Stories” tab at the top of the page or by clicking the “Continue Reading” link below.
A new chapter will be posted every Sunday night for the next four weeks. Be sure to follow along for a thrilling tale of danger, mystery, sexy spy action and, of course, lots and lots of dick jokes.
Located at 325 S Main St, Camp Verde, AZ 86322
Open Mon-Thurs, 11a-9p; Fri-Sat 10p
The small town of Camp Verde sits just off of I-17, about an hour-and-a-half north of downtown Phoenix and an hour south of Flagstaff. The last time I was in this area I visited a brewery in the town of Pine. That was the first part of an adventure I called The Rural Brewer Tour, in which I planned to visit microbreweries in parts of the state that felt remote to city slickers like me. It was a rainy night when I drove through Camp Verde. The city looked like a ghost town on a moonless summer night. Raindrops hit my windshield and I could see the thunder roll in my rearview mirror.
Located at 3445 S Grapevine Way, Cottonwood, AZ 86326
Open Daily 11a-5p
Today’s adventure takes us to wine country in the northern part of Arizona. Specifically, the town of Cottonwood. It’s about an hour south of Flagstaff and ninety minutes north of Phoenix. Downtown Cottonwood has several winery tasting rooms located down a single strip of road. But on my way out there I drove through a stretch of land with mountains, cacti and little else. I pulled over to pee and check my phone when I quickly realized that I had little-to-no reception in this area. Neither Facebook nor Instagram were loading and I was having trouble delivering the travel pictures that I was trying to send to my ex-girlfriends via text so as to make them jealous of all my awesome adventures and make them realize that I was infinitely more fun than the losers they were dating now. Look at me driving out to wine country, Darlene! Does your shitty boyfriend ever take you on awesome adventures like these?!?
Located at 158 Main Street, Jerome, AZ 86331
Open Sun-Thurs 11a-6p, Fri-Sat 11a-8p, 365 days a year
Northern Arizona is home to a region called Verde Valley, which itself is home to what’s known as a “Wine Trail.” I haven’t brought this up in any of my previous posts about vineyards so far because they were all preoccupied with some bullshit short story or whatever but a Wine Trail is a region that’s conducive to growing grapes for wine production due to its elevation. Arizona has three main Wine Trails and each one has its own handful of vineyards/wineries/tasting rooms.