Beer n’ Loathing Podcast

BnL Podcast Episode 063: Happy Holidaze!

I’m a little late on this but I was a guest on the holiday episode of the Beer N’ Loathing podcast put together by a few guys in Colorado and Michigan. In this episode I share the story of when I was in college 10 years ago and got stupid hammered then peed on the door of a frat house out in Tucson, AZ. Those were some good times.

My segment starts at about 20 minutes in but you should listen to the whole thing anyway. Check it out at the link below:

http://www.beernloathing.com/bnl-podcast-episode-063-happy-holidaze/

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AZ Food & Beer

For the first time ever I’ve written articles for a website other than mine own. A buddy mine helped launch azfoodandbeer.com and I contributed a series of three articles about events in and around Tucson. These are a lot more politically correct than what I write here so they’re still informative and funny but I didn’t, like, write anything about my butthole or whatever. 

The first article is a review of the new Culinary Dropout restaurant that opened up in Tucson and you can read that here:  https://azfoodandbeer.com/new-restaurants/tearing-tucson-part-one

The second is a review of Button Brewhouse, one of Arizona’s newest breweries that just opened a few weeks ago. It’s located in Marana just northwest of Tucson proper. That article is here: https://azfoodandbeer.com/featured/tearing-tucson-part-2/

There is a third and final article that will be coming soon and I’ll post the link here when it’s on the AZ Food & Beer website. Remember, these articles are exclusively for them so if you want to read more of my hilarious, late-night, drunken, keyboard-mashing sessions go to their website. 

And yes, I know this space has been a bit quiet but don’t worry, I’ve got some new adventures planned and some brand new writing coming for the blog. I’ve just been busy on a super secret, epic writing project that will be announced sometime within the next few months. In the meantime, follow me on all the usual social media accounts to keep up with my adventures. 

Salud!

Classy Invades Terrestrial Radio

This Saturday, 9/23, I’ll be on terrestrial radio as the celebrity co-host of a show in Tucson called “On The Menu…Live!” from 5p-6p. I’ll be talking about Arizona booze and food while desperately trying to avoid an FCC fine! Listen in to what could either be a really fun hour or the event that literally bankrupts me into oblivion if I can’t keep from discussing my genitals on the air.

For my younger readers: you know that thing in your car that you hook up your aux cord or Bluetooth to so you can listen to podcasts from your phone? Well that thing should also have a little knob that you can spin to hear music or other people’s voices jabbering about all kinds of horseshit. Turn one of those knobs to 104.1 FM KQTH, Tucson’s News and Talk on Saturday, 9/23 at 5pm to listen me drunkenly try to spew coherent sentences into an expensive microphone.

If you don’t have a radio or if you’re not in Tucson you can still hear me embarrass myself live by streaming the show on their website: OnTheMenuLive.com

How could anyone think I’d be a good fit for a public radio broadcast? I don’t know, I’m just as confused as you are!

Classy v. Tapthat: Dawn of Fatness

There comes a time in a man’s life when he must decide just how fat he is willing to be. In this life you either die a John Belushi or you live long enough to see yourself become Jim Belushi. As a heavy drinker who hates being alive I’ve basically decided that working on myself isn’t worth it and it would be nice to just kinda die in my sleep one night whenever.

Or at least that’s what I felt until I was called out by a fellow fat man who had the balls to challenge me. There’s a fairly new podcast out there called Tap That AZ. Each episode highlights a brewery or major player in the AZ beer scene. I was even a guest on the show myself. The host, Eric Tapthat (or whatever) is a nice guy who’s looking to drop some weight. The two of us met up with Justin Cross to join his Brewtrition workout plan. It’s a fitness plan for beer drinkers created because Justin believes you can drink beer and be in great shape as long as you earn your booze.

As of today Eric Tapthat and I will be competing with each other to reach our respective weight loss goals by Wednesday, November 22nd, the day before Thanksgiving. Because we’re gonna celebrate our achievements by stuffing our fat faces full of turkey.

We’ll be posting updates of our progress throughout our social media pages and I’ll be adding write ups right here on my blog. Here are our stats so you know where we’re starting: 

The Classy Alcoholic
  
Age: 31

Height: 5’9” (5’10” on a good day)

Weight (w/clothes): 194lbs

Weight (naked and drunk): 189lbs

Waist line: 39.5inches

Neck line: 18inches

Advantages: Used to be skinny. Got laid a lot. Misses it.

Obstacles: Lost the will to live years ago
Eric Tapthat

 
Age: 38

Height: 6’3”

Weight: 290lbs

Waist line: 44

Chest: 52inches

Neck: 19inches

Advantages: Actually cares whether he lives or dies

Obstacles: Chicken
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter for updates throughout the next 10 weeks or so as The Classy Alcoholic does what he never thought he would do and engage in some minimal form of physical exercise. Watch as two fat guys slowly make minimal gains that sober people who eat veggies make pretty much every time they take a dump.

The Classy Alcoholic Goes Global

The Classy Alcoholic is about to go on his first international adventure. For pretty much the rest of August 2017 I will be roaming and drinking throughout Tokyo and other places in Japan. There is a legitimate chance that I will be blown up by North Korea while I’m there so it’s my goal to be drunk enough throughout the entire trip that I don’t feel the nuclear blast rippping the meat off of my skeleton, Sarah Connor style!

I probably won’t be using this blog space too much until I get back so if you wanna follow along on my foreign booze adventures you should follow me on my various social media platforms.

Like my Facebook Page here. I’ll be posting pictures and drunken ramblings there.

Follow me on Instagram: I’ll also be posting pictures and a bunch of stupid hashtags there.

Follow me on Twitter: I just started a Twitter acccount. My handle is @brownanddrunk. This is probably the best place to keep up with my travels because it’s the best platform for quick pics and observations on the spot while I’m out in the land of Sake and Godzilla.

I’m like Anthony Bourdain, minus heroin, plus sadness! 

#vote4classy for Best Of Tucson 2017

The Classy Alcoholic loves Tucson. And even more so today because I just found out I’m a finalist in the Tucson Weekly newspaper’s annual “Best Of Tucson” list. I’m up for Best Blog and it’s all thanks to my beloved beer and wine family! For those of y’all who had to Google or Bing or Ask Jeeves who the hell I am because you had no idea this blog even existed, I’d like to welcome you to my little corner of the internet!

I’m an Arizona-based beer and wine blogger who writes reviews of vineyards and microbreweries with a comedic twist. (By which I mean, I write lots of dick jokes.)

I split up my reviews by region so start out by reading my entires on Southern Arizona Breweries.

My specialty, though, is hilarious and absurd short stories that take place at real locations throughout Arizona and feature real people from the AZ craft beer scene.

I wrote a short story called “The Drunk Knight” that starts in Tucson and continues north throughout the state. Read it here! This story features a guest appearance from my pal Todd Button who is planning on opening his own microbrewery called Button Brewhouse in Tucson this summer.

Next, check out my favorite story that I’ve ever written called “Flux.” Click here to read! This takes place entirely in Tucson and features my pals from Harbottle Brewing Company (formerly known as Flux Brewing Company) as well as other friends from the Tucson beer scene.

The Classy Alcoholic strongly believes in supporting local Arizona businesses whenever he can. So go to tinyurl.com/vote4classy to cast your vote for my blog.

And for those of you who already know who I am, I thank you for your support from the bottom of my fat, drunk heart.

Salud!