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The Drunk Knight – The Final Chapter

July 18, 2016February 23, 2017 The Classy Alcoholic Beer, Microbrewery, Northern Arizona, Williams

The final chapter of my story, “The Drunk Knight,” is here! As always, you can click on the “Short Stories” tab in the menu above or just click the “Continue Reading” link below to check it out.

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The final stop on my @buttonbrewhouse scavenger hunt is at a place I’ve never been before. It’s Mon⚡️oon⚡️ Tap & Grill, that particular type of sports bar with good food and overdressed, drunk white ladies who are either having a loud girls night out or are here with their bored, underdressed husbands in jerseys. Think of it as Famous Sam’s-chique, if that means anything to you. They seem to mostly have AZ beer on tap other than some AB-InBev owned bullshit. Plus they have the Button Amber and the Button Traveler Blonde ale on tap. And as if that didn’t make this place awesome enough, three of the dudes who work here started speaking Spanish to each other just as I was typing this. This place is dope as fuck! #AZbeerweek #buttonbrewhouse

Don’t forget you have until 2/16 to complete the @buttonbrewhouse AZ Beer Week scavenger hunt throughout the Northwest side of Tucson. Go to Button’s taproom to pick up your tracking card then head to @TapAndBottle North, Monsoons Tap & Grill, and @capscorksaz to order a Button beer then post it on your social media. I’m told there are prizes at the end. I’m at stop #1 enjoying the awesome Bust My Button Triple IPA. I have an advantage because I’m on pretty much every form of social media and because my life is only validated by your digital likes instead of real life friendship or kindness because those last two things terrify me and no amount of therapy has been able to change that! Happy #AZBeerWeek!

Shoutout to all my beer friends & family at this weekend’s AZ Strong Beer Fest. Special thanks to @quailcanfly for hosting me again this year. They celebrated their 20th anniversary by partying like it’s 1999. Which is why Ali G was there. I was only 13 back then so I got into the 90’s spirit by playing Backstreet Boys songs and pretending my parents’ divorce wasn’t my fault. Just like twenty years ago! #AZbeerweek

There was no better way to spend my birthday than at @goldwaterbrewingco drinking their Blueberry Coffee Cake Imperial Stout. That delicious shit was a collab with my buddy The @_alpha_ale and @earnyourbooze. Unfortunately my entire day was ruined when I saw that Eric from @tapthataz was there and that he bought the last of the Double Dry Hopped Hop Chowdah cans....but luckily I met @kckstastings in person for the first time and he hooked me up with a can so I wouldn’t go home sad and empty handed. So ultimately I’d say it was an awesome second day of #AZBeerWeek. Next stop: Strong Beer Fest!

Happy 33rd birthday to me. I didn’t expect to be celebrating with a taster of the beer nerds’ holy grail, KBBS, but I found myself in the right place at the right time. Even better, I spent the evening with both @adamismyhero1 and @hxcpuertorican, some of my favorite members of my AZ beer family. Happy Arizona Beer Week, everyone. So far every year is better than the last. #AZbeerweek

A guy from the Northeast named Nash (@sunnysideuptraveling) reached out to me last week and invited me on his podcast. He and his lady are traveling the country in an RV doing outdoorsy shit and hitting breweries along the way. He needed an expert to discuss the Tucson beer scene and because everyone who knows what they’re talking about was busy he had to settle for putting a microphone in front of my dumb, fat face. So go check out this episode of the #BreweryTalksPodcast on Spotify, iTunes and whatever Android people use to listen to podcasts. I gave shoutouts to as much of my Tucson beer family as I could and did my best to convince Nash’s frozen NE popsicle friends to come visit our state for the warm winter weather and the amazing local beer. I hope I did a good job. The last time I represented the state of Arizona was when I was impersonating a prosecuting attorney during a criminal trial for reasons I shouldn’t disclose in a public forum ‘cause it could be used as evidence so forget I said anything I didn’t admit to shit and if you’re reading this and you’re a cop you have to tell me if you’re a cop okay I gotta go talk to you later byeeeeeeee.

Apart from being a word that my phone constantly tries to autocorrect, bacanora is an agave-based spirit that can most simply be described as a version of tequila made in the state of Sonora as opposed to the state Jalisco. There’s more to it, of course, but that’s enough to get the gist. And that’s my final lesson for 2018. I’ll be closing out the year with this bottle and a live concert from @xixa_tuxon, one of the best bands to come out of Arizona. So sincere thanks to all my friends and booze family for the past 12 months. Despite being a miserable, cranky, sloppy drunk, loner asshole I can honestly say that becoming The Classy Alcoholic is the best thing that ever happened to me. And I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am without everyone reading this right now. So fuck, “New year, new me.” Why would I wanna be anything else in 2019? Salud. Have a fun and safe new year’s eve. I’ll see everyone on the other side.

Had a great beer share today with my buddy @jamesablue at @capscorksaz. We started off with some killer @jesterkingbrewery but changed it up as we went along. And James taught us how to play a dope Thai version of Jenga that ensured I’ll never go back to that dumb, regular degular version.

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