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The Drunk Knight – The Final Chapter

July 18, 2016February 23, 2017 The Classy Alcoholic Beer, Microbrewery, Northern Arizona, Williams

The final chapter of my story, “The Drunk Knight,” is here! As always, you can click on the “Short Stories” tab in the menu above or just click the “Continue Reading” link below to check it out.

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I changed it up a bit tonight while watching a modern, super violent slasher movie called Hush (2016). The year is very important because there are, like, twenty fucking movies called Hush (including a Batman comic book series which is dope). This film is an excellent thriller about a deaf author being stalked in her remote house in the woods by a masked murderer. I identified so much with the main character named Maddie because she starts the movie off trying to write her newest novel but doesn’t know how she's gonna end it and starts thinking that she’s a shitty writer. I’ve been there many a time. Also she tries to get away from the murderer without being able to hear what’s coming up behind her or how much noise she’s making while trying to escape. I’ve been drunk enough to experience the same thing while trying to crawl out the window of my ex-girlfriend’s house last week. The whole movie took place at night in the woods so I felt the need for some homemade hot cocoa while watching this. And a couple of splashes from the @threewellsdistilling Sonoran Copper gave my chocolatey drink a nice boozy edge. This is a mildly sweet, fermented prickly pear spirit that could only exist in the Arizona desert. The taste lies somewhere between tequila and rum and it’s such a versatile spirit that you can mix it with all kinds of shit and it would still taste amazing. My Sonoran hot cocoa mug was really comforting while watching this genuinely scary film. There’s nothing better than a liquid booze embrace. #threewellsdistilling

I couldn’t do a horror and craft beer pairing without including @phantomcarriage from Carson, California. Their brewery specifically pays homage to classic horror movies and they even hosted a beer fest in a cemetery earlier this year. This barrel-aged wild saison conditioned on cherries was fantastic and it paired very well with the creepy, slow-burner Session 9 (2001). It’s about a group of guys remodeling an abandoned insane asylum and, as you can imagine, scary hijinks ensue. By the time the movie was over I was so scared, I felt this panicky, burning pressure in my chest....but then quickly realized it wasn’t fear but just some goddamn heartburn instead. #phantomcarriage

I’m so very proud of my friend @bethneebee for finally starting her own podcast. She and her sis research and discuss the origins of paranormal phenomena, which is something that’s right up my spooky, brown alley. Check out the link in their bio at @twocreepybspodcast to hear their first episode about Bloody Mary. It’s creepy and educational! #twocreepybs #keepitcreepy

This weekend in Tucson the annual @tucsonmeetyourself festival is going down and it’s happening right in front of @series_19. It’s the only bar serving spirits made exclusively in Arizona. So stop in, get an amazing cocktail and learn about how many awesome distillers we have in our state. They’re the only place on the festival grounds where you can get a stiff drink and they can even sell you bottles to take home. And I heard through the grapevine that you can get $5 off the price of any bottles from @threewellsdistilling.

Coming soon to a desert near you, it’s this surprise new owl IPA from @borderlandsbrewing in Tucson. It’s perfect for the Arizona winter now that it’s getting dark as hell by, like, 7:30p. Owls are my spirit animal because we both stay up super late and we both may or may not be creeping on people who can’t see us in the dark. But I bet you can’t prove it. Try to take an owl to court, see how that works out for you! 🦉

Time released a special edition of their magazine today that’s all about beer. (A “magazine” is like an iPad made out of paper, by the way.) In it there’s an article by @thesarahbennett about women and minorities around the country who are trying to introduce craft beer to new demographics. Not only is Sarah a great journalist but she’s also one of the coolest people I know. And it’s so great to see her write about such an important topic in a major publication.

Horror and beer pairing from a couple of days ago. This time it was the gory, cheesy monster flick Hatchet (2006). Despite being a very bloody slasher it definitely had a lighter, goofier tone that called for a lighter beer. The Bonfire DIPA from @pueblovida fit perfectly. The dank flavor of the beer tasted like the Louisiana woods where the movie took place and knocking back a couple of these was really easy during this not-quite-scary but still fun movie.

This week you’ll be able to get your hands on new cans from @buttonbrewhouse wherever craft beer is sold. There’s the Brother’s Joy “Marzen” (which is the fancy name for an Oktoberfest beer and should have the two dots over the A but I don’t know how to do that) and my personal favorite, the Chiltepin Red Ale. That one doesn’t skimp on the spice so don’t dive in if you don’t love a little burn. But it’s ultimately delicious and very much worth it at the end. #ButtonBrewhouse

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