Barrio Brewing Co. – Mesa, AZ

Located at 5803 S Sossaman Rd, Mesa, AZ 85212
Open Mon-Thurs 10a-10p; Fri 10a-11p; Sat 7a-11p; Sun 7a-10pm
www.barriobrewingmesa.com

Barrio Mesa1

Barrio Brewing Co. in Tucson is one of Arizona’s oldest microbreweries now that they’ve been around for over a decade. The craft beer scene didn’t really explode here until about 2014 and back then there were only around fifty breweries in the entire state.

The Classy Alcoholic has been around since before Barrio even opened their doors. The Barrio beer that we’re all familiar with now used to be made at a place called Gentle Ben’s right next to the University of Arizona. That’s where a 21-year-old Classy had his first sip of craft beer. It was 2007 and I went with a group of friends to this joint that had a bunch of strange-ass beers on the menu. I ordered the lightest option because it was the safest and looked like the closest thing resembling a Tecate. That ended up being what we now refer to as Barrio Blonde…but at that time it was just called the Tucson Blonde.

Continue reading

Helton Beer School

I wrote a short article for my friends at AZ Food and Beer hyping up Helton Brewing Company’s Beer School event (in Phoenix). There’s one this Sunday the 25th and another one held every month. Check out the article to read more about it and why you should absolutely attend.

The Classy Alcoholic Gets Some Higher Beer-ducation

Classy’s Jukebox – Infidelity Edition

Song: “Decorate” by Yuna

I haven’t written anything for my blog in months now. I’ve been quietly working on a long-form project that’s sucked up pretty much every drop of my creative juices. And it’s been bothering me that I haven’t kept up with what I intended to do when I started this Classy Alcoholic project. I’m grateful for the relationships I’ve fostered in the craft beer scene and for all the events I’ve been lucky enough to go to over the last three years. But that’s not why I’m me. My blog was always supposed to be an outlet for a frustrated guy staring down the barrel of his thirties who was unhappy with how much time he spent away from writing creatively. And it’s been bothering me that I’ve spent so long being quiet.

I recently I plugged an old external hard drive into my computer and pulled out hundreds of songs that I collected from the last decade or so. I’ve been using them as inspiration for the current writing project that I’m not ready to reveal yet. But I’m feeling the need to share what’s going through my head as I revisit these tracks and revisit the state of mind I was in back in my early-to-mid-twenties. I’m digging out these old experiences and repurposing them for my new stories. And I’m a bit insecure about whether my followers would even give a flying shit about any of this…but fuck it. I’m going for it.

Continue reading

Drink Craft & Be Merry

For the first time ever The Classy Alcoholic is opening up the doors of the blog in order to host a guest. My friend Michele Buttrum is a fellow beer lover who also makes some retail store-worthy home decor from scratch using only the tools in her garage and a glass of craft beer by her side. I’ve seen her projects in person so I thought I’d give her a chance to share her process with everyone. Take it away, Michele!

20171229_171534

I knew I wanted a sign on the empty wall above my coffee pot but I needed to find the perfect quote for it.

  1. Black, like my soul
  2. I pretend coffee helps but I’m still a bitch
  3. Rise and grind

Although those two first options are completely true, I thought “rise and grind” was a bit more motivating (and in-law approved)!

For this sign, I decided to create my first farmhouse style sign. You know, the Chip & Joanna Gaines-inspired cult thing that’s all the rage now. I ventured out to the garage to see what I could put together. I found (4) 1 x 4’s that were all cut the same length from a previous project. Score! I also had one piece of 1 x 2 that was long enough to become my frame.

Supplies list:
Scrap wood or wood cut to the size you want
Miter saw
Orbital sander or sand paper
Drill bit
Varying grit sand paper
Paint color of choice – I used Rust-Oleum Zinsser white primer
Wood stain of choice – I used Minwax Dark Walnut
Paint brush and/or roller
Staining cloth – I use old cotton shirts
Kreg Jig & wood screws
Wood glue
Stapler gun – optional
Vinyl – optional
Metal corner braces – highly recommended
Sawtooth hanging bracket
2000’s country radio – optional
Craft beer – not optional

Continue reading

I Get Drunk With A Little Help From My Friends

Lucha

So 2017 fucking sucked, right? Yeah, it did for me too but despite all the shit I had to suffer through for the last twelve months I have to admit that it was also the best year that the Classy Alcoholic had since I started this blog back in 2014. I somehow managed to make a shit-ton of new friends in the Arizona craft beer and booze community despite the fact that I hate being around people and kinda just want to die alone really soon.

My success this past year didn’t just come from my brilliant writing and unparalleled charm. It also grew thanks to the people who were so willing to associate themselves with a disreputable character like me even if it could possibly have done irreparable damage to their brand or business.

Continue reading

Beer n’ Loathing Podcast

BnL Podcast Episode 063: Happy Holidaze!

I’m a little late on this but I was a guest on the holiday episode of the Beer N’ Loathing podcast put together by a few guys in Colorado and Michigan. In this episode I share the story of when I was in college 10 years ago and got stupid hammered then peed on the door of a frat house out in Tucson, AZ. Those were some good times.

My segment starts at about 20 minutes in but you should listen to the whole thing anyway. Check it out at the link below:

http://www.beernloathing.com/bnl-podcast-episode-063-happy-holidaze/

AZ Food & Beer

For the first time ever I’ve written articles for a website other than mine own. A buddy mine helped launch azfoodandbeer.com and I contributed a series of three articles about events in and around Tucson. These are a lot more politically correct than what I write here so they’re still informative and funny but I didn’t, like, write anything about my butthole or whatever. 

The first article is a review of the new Culinary Dropout restaurant that opened up in Tucson and you can read that here:  https://azfoodandbeer.com/new-restaurants/tearing-tucson-part-one

The second is a review of Button Brewhouse, one of Arizona’s newest breweries that just opened a few weeks ago. It’s located in Marana just northwest of Tucson proper. That article is here: https://azfoodandbeer.com/featured/tearing-tucson-part-2/

There is a third and final article that will be coming soon and I’ll post the link here when it’s on the AZ Food & Beer website. Remember, these articles are exclusively for them so if you want to read more of my hilarious, late-night, drunken, keyboard-mashing sessions go to their website. 

And yes, I know this space has been a bit quiet but don’t worry, I’ve got some new adventures planned and some brand new writing coming for the blog. I’ve just been busy on a super secret, epic writing project that will be announced sometime within the next few months. In the meantime, follow me on all the usual social media accounts to keep up with my adventures. 

Salud!

Classy Invades Terrestrial Radio

This Saturday, 9/23, I’ll be on terrestrial radio as the celebrity co-host of a show in Tucson called “On The Menu…Live!” from 5p-6p. I’ll be talking about Arizona booze and food while desperately trying to avoid an FCC fine! Listen in to what could either be a really fun hour or the event that literally bankrupts me into oblivion if I can’t keep from discussing my genitals on the air.

For my younger readers: you know that thing in your car that you hook up your aux cord or Bluetooth to so you can listen to podcasts from your phone? Well that thing should also have a little knob that you can spin to hear music or other people’s voices jabbering about all kinds of horseshit. Turn one of those knobs to 104.1 FM KQTH, Tucson’s News and Talk on Saturday, 9/23 at 5pm to listen me drunkenly try to spew coherent sentences into an expensive microphone.

If you don’t have a radio or if you’re not in Tucson you can still hear me embarrass myself live by streaming the show on their website: OnTheMenuLive.com

How could anyone think I’d be a good fit for a public radio broadcast? I don’t know, I’m just as confused as you are!

Classy v. Tapthat: Dawn of Fatness

There comes a time in a man’s life when he must decide just how fat he is willing to be. In this life you either die a John Belushi or you live long enough to see yourself become Jim Belushi. As a heavy drinker who hates being alive I’ve basically decided that working on myself isn’t worth it and it would be nice to just kinda die in my sleep one night whenever.

Or at least that’s what I felt until I was called out by a fellow fat man who had the balls to challenge me. There’s a fairly new podcast out there called Tap That AZ. Each episode highlights a brewery or major player in the AZ beer scene. I was even a guest on the show myself. The host, Eric Tapthat (or whatever) is a nice guy who’s looking to drop some weight. The two of us met up with Justin Cross to join his Brewtrition workout plan. It’s a fitness plan for beer drinkers created because Justin believes you can drink beer and be in great shape as long as you earn your booze.

As of today Eric Tapthat and I will be competing with each other to reach our respective weight loss goals by Wednesday, November 22nd, the day before Thanksgiving. Because we’re gonna celebrate our achievements by stuffing our fat faces full of turkey.

We’ll be posting updates of our progress throughout our social media pages and I’ll be adding write ups right here on my blog. Here are our stats so you know where we’re starting: 

The Classy Alcoholic
  
Age: 31

Height: 5’9” (5’10” on a good day)

Weight (w/clothes): 194lbs

Weight (naked and drunk): 189lbs

Waist line: 39.5inches

Neck line: 18inches

Advantages: Used to be skinny. Got laid a lot. Misses it.

Obstacles: Lost the will to live years ago
Eric Tapthat

 
Age: 38

Height: 6’3”

Weight: 290lbs

Waist line: 44

Chest: 52inches

Neck: 19inches

Advantages: Actually cares whether he lives or dies

Obstacles: Chicken
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter for updates throughout the next 10 weeks or so as The Classy Alcoholic does what he never thought he would do and engage in some minimal form of physical exercise. Watch as two fat guys slowly make minimal gains that sober people who eat veggies make pretty much every time they take a dump.