The Drunk Knight – The Final Chapter

The final chapter of my story, “The Drunk Knight,” is here! As always, you can click on the “Short Stories” tab in the menu above or just click the “Continue Reading” link below to check it out.

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The Drunk Knight – Part 3

It’s all starting to come together in Part 3 of my 4-part story, “The Drunk Knight.” The Classy Alcoholic and his team head to Flagstaff to discover the full scope of the villain’s evil plan. Check out the “Short Stories” tab on the menu above or just click on the “Continue Reading” link below to follow along on my adventure!

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Driftwood Pub & Kitchen – Tucson, AZ

Driftwood Pub & Kitchen has closed as of February 2017. This post will remain on my website as a reminder of the good times we had together.

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Dive bars tend to get a lot of love from people. Sometimes for reasons I don’t understand. Scroll through some Yelp reviews and you’ll find people who describe a dive bar as “disgusting” and consider that a compliment. Also they think being served by bitter, disaffected bartenders is somehow more authentic than someone who’s, like, nice to you?

While I definitely appreciate that many dive bars have cool regulars and strong drinks for cheap I never want to drink somewhere so divey that I have to worry about walking out with a staph infection. And I’m not the kind of guy who thinks a bar is great because the bartender with the hook for a hand pours your shitty light beers aggressively and visibly hates you for making him do his job. If I wanted to be openly resented for my heavy drinking by someone with anger issues I’d go back and ruin my ex-girlfriend’s mom’s funeral again.
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Nimbus Brewing Co. – Tucson, AZ

Located at 3850 E 44th St, Tucson, AZ 85713
Open Mon-Thurs 11a-11p; Fri-Sat 11a-1a; Sun 11a-9p
http://www.nimbusbeer.com

Your favorite The Classy Alcoholic is going through a tough time, y’all. February of 2016 is the month I turn 30 years old. The panic of growing older is starting to set in and I feel like I’m not ready to leave my 20s behind. The sight of a few gray hairs is my only consolation because the one thing that would make my amazing hair even better is a Clooney-esque, salt-and-pepper look to it. But so far my gorgeous mane stays dark, thick and smooth…while my youth rapidly slips away through my fingers.

I decided that if I wanted to recapture my youth I would have to literally travel back in time. So I found a junkyard in Tucson where I could buy an old flux capacitor and installed it in my car. I retrofitted the thing so it could be powered by Arizona-brewed craft beer because my flux capacitor was sure as hell gonna #chooseAZbrews, dammit! I hit the road and drove as fast as I could until a portal of light appeared, engulfing my ‘89 Honda Accord with the bumper that was a different color from the rest of the car and also held on only by a chain. When the portal of light disappeared I looked around me and I realized I had successfully arrived in the year 2006.

I still had to write a microbrewery review for today though and unfortunately there weren’t many breweries in Tucson ten years ago. But then I recalled that Nimbus Brewing Company had been around since 1996 and would be celebrating its tenth anniversary this year. So I headed to the east side of Tucson wading through industrial parks in search of the warehouse where Nimbus had its brewery and restaurant. In order to fit in I put on a necktie that was only slightly different in color from my dress shirt. It was the kind of monochromatic outfit I remembered people in suits wearing all the time a decade ago, back when Regis Philbin was the classiest motherfucker on TV because Mad Men wouldn’t introduce Jon Hamm to the world until a year later.

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Wanderlust Brewing Co. – Flagstaff, AZ

Located at 1519 N Main St #102, Flagstaff, AZ 86004
Open Weds 4p-9p; Sat 2p-8p
http://www.wanderlustbrewing.com

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I find the term “Wanderlust” to be a bit complicated. On the one hand it evokes a sense of exploration and adventure. It’s undoubtedly positive to want to travel, learn more about the world around you and expand your life experiences. But I’ll admit that sometimes my desire to travel through Arizona finding new breweries and wineries can come from a need to run away from something rather than running toward something. I decided that a trip to Wanderlust Brewing Company in Flagstaff was necessary in order to find out what “wanderlust” really meant to me.

Downtown Flagstaff is probably my favorite spot to hang out in of all the places I’ve been to in Arizona so far. There are an endless number of options for food and drink and I’m hard-pressed to find reasons to venture outside it. But you’ll have to hop into a car and head east of downtown for about ten minutes in order to get to Wanderlust Brewing. The brewery is in a small, unassuming business park just off the beaten path.

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