Classy’s Jukebox – Infidelity Edition

Song: “Decorate” by Yuna

I haven’t written anything for my blog in months now. I’ve been quietly working on a long-form project that’s sucked up pretty much every drop of my creative juices. And it’s been bothering me that I haven’t kept up with what I intended to do when I started this Classy Alcoholic project. I’m grateful for the relationships I’ve fostered in the craft beer scene and for all the events I’ve been lucky enough to go to over the last three years. But that’s not why I’m me. My blog was always supposed to be an outlet for a frustrated guy staring down the barrel of his thirties who was unhappy with how much time he spent away from writing creatively. And it’s been bothering me that I’ve spent so long being quiet.

I recently I plugged an old external hard drive into my computer and pulled out hundreds of songs that I collected from the last decade or so. I’ve been using them as inspiration for the current writing project that I’m not ready to reveal yet. But I’m feeling the need to share what’s going through my head as I revisit these tracks and revisit the state of mind I was in back in my early-to-mid-twenties. I’m digging out these old experiences and repurposing them for my new stories. And I’m a bit insecure about whether my followers would even give a flying shit about any of this…but fuck it. I’m going for it.

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Drink Craft & Be Merry

For the first time ever The Classy Alcoholic is opening up the doors of the blog in order to host a guest. My friend Michele Buttrum is a fellow beer lover who also makes some retail store-worthy home decor from scratch using only the tools in her garage and a glass of craft beer by her side. I’ve seen her projects in person so I thought I’d give her a chance to share her process with everyone. Take it away, Michele!

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I knew I wanted a sign on the empty wall above my coffee pot but I needed to find the perfect quote for it.

  1. Black, like my soul
  2. I pretend coffee helps but I’m still a bitch
  3. Rise and grind

Although those two first options are completely true, I thought “rise and grind” was a bit more motivating (and in-law approved)!

For this sign, I decided to create my first farmhouse style sign. You know, the Chip & Joanna Gaines-inspired cult thing that’s all the rage now. I ventured out to the garage to see what I could put together. I found (4) 1 x 4’s that were all cut the same length from a previous project. Score! I also had one piece of 1 x 2 that was long enough to become my frame.

Supplies list:
Scrap wood or wood cut to the size you want
Miter saw
Orbital sander or sand paper
Drill bit
Varying grit sand paper
Paint color of choice – I used Rust-Oleum Zinsser white primer
Wood stain of choice – I used Minwax Dark Walnut
Paint brush and/or roller
Staining cloth – I use old cotton shirts
Kreg Jig & wood screws
Wood glue
Stapler gun – optional
Vinyl – optional
Metal corner braces – highly recommended
Sawtooth hanging bracket
2000’s country radio – optional
Craft beer – not optional

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I Get Drunk With A Little Help From My Friends

Lucha

So 2017 fucking sucked, right? Yeah, it did for me too but despite all the shit I had to suffer through for the last twelve months I have to admit that it was also the best year that the Classy Alcoholic had since I started this blog back in 2014. I somehow managed to make a shit-ton of new friends in the Arizona craft beer and booze community despite the fact that I hate being around people and kinda just want to die alone really soon.

My success this past year didn’t just come from my brilliant writing and unparalleled charm. It also grew thanks to the people who were so willing to associate themselves with a disreputable character like me even if it could possibly have done irreparable damage to their brand or business.

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Beer n’ Loathing Podcast

BnL Podcast Episode 063: Happy Holidaze!

I’m a little late on this but I was a guest on the holiday episode of the Beer N’ Loathing podcast put together by a few guys in Colorado and Michigan. In this episode I share the story of when I was in college 10 years ago and got stupid hammered then peed on the door of a frat house out in Tucson, AZ. Those were some good times.

My segment starts at about 20 minutes in but you should listen to the whole thing anyway. Check it out at the link below:

http://www.beernloathing.com/bnl-podcast-episode-063-happy-holidaze/

Spirits Are The New Craft

A review of:
Adventurous Stills – Tempe, AZ
Located at 2125 E 5th St, #102, Tempe, AZ 85281
Open Fri 5p-8p; Sat 2p-7p
http://www.adventstills.com

And:
Three Wells Distilling Company – Tucson, AZ
Located at 3780 E 44th St, #120, Tucson, AZ 85713
Open Sat 5p-8p
http://www.threewellsdistilling.com

I’ve been writing about Arizona craft beer and wine for just under three years now and found enormous success in a very short time. Most people would be happy with my level of fame and coast on that early success without innovating until they die, Kurt Cobain style. But I decided to instead explore a completely different realm of the Arizona booze scene: local spirits.

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AZ Food & Beer

For the first time ever I’ve written articles for a website other than mine own. A buddy mine helped launch azfoodandbeer.com and I contributed a series of three articles about events in and around Tucson. These are a lot more politically correct than what I write here so they’re still informative and funny but I didn’t, like, write anything about my butthole or whatever. 

The first article is a review of the new Culinary Dropout restaurant that opened up in Tucson and you can read that here:  https://azfoodandbeer.com/new-restaurants/tearing-tucson-part-one

The second is a review of Button Brewhouse, one of Arizona’s newest breweries that just opened a few weeks ago. It’s located in Marana just northwest of Tucson proper. That article is here: https://azfoodandbeer.com/featured/tearing-tucson-part-2/

There is a third and final article that will be coming soon and I’ll post the link here when it’s on the AZ Food & Beer website. Remember, these articles are exclusively for them so if you want to read more of my hilarious, late-night, drunken, keyboard-mashing sessions go to their website. 

And yes, I know this space has been a bit quiet but don’t worry, I’ve got some new adventures planned and some brand new writing coming for the blog. I’ve just been busy on a super secret, epic writing project that will be announced sometime within the next few months. In the meantime, follow me on all the usual social media accounts to keep up with my adventures. 

Salud!